Loneliness is a common problem in our culture. It is not the same thing as being alone. It is a state of mind in which you feel disconnected from people and often feel empty inside. These individuals want connections with others but have difficulty doing so.
Loneliness is emotionally painful. Humans are social creatures by nature. Without other people around for mutual support and protection, our ancient ancestors would not have survived. So, the need for human companionship is a fundamental drive built into our basic nature.
Loneliness is more common in some families with some evidence of a genetic component. It may also be a symptom of depression or caused by an anxiety disorder such as panic disorder. Individuals who struggle with shame issues are also more predisposed to loneliness. Ordinary shyness can also contribute.
While loneliness is emotionally painful it is also dangerous to your physical and mental health. There is evidence that loneliness is often associated with chronic elevations of stress hormones that are major causes of the elevated mortality and illnesses seen in these individuals.
Resolving the problem of loneliness requires developing connections with other people. The quantity of friends is unimportant. What matters is having a couple of supportive friends. It is important to recognize that internet social media sites are not adequate substitutes for direct connection with others in person.
Making friends can be difficult for people who struggle with loneliness. However, you will not break out of this situation unless you take action. Call someone you know. Join a club. Go to Church. Do volunteer work. The bottom line is that you must be where people are.
As our society has become more mobile, and we are more likely to have moved away from family and friends, we are at increased risk of loneliness. About 20% of adult Americans are lonely, and the number is rising. It is more important than ever that we reach out to one another.
Peter M. Hartmann, MD
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